Jennifer arrived on Sunday, September 11 around midnight. I greeted her at the airport and we enjoyed a Beijing Taxi ride the thirty minutes back to my apartment in Shuangjing. The taxi ride included the most important Mandarin Chinese lesson. After a 20 hour adventure from Dallas I forced Jennifer to memorize my subway stop before she even landed at her temporary residence. Success! We unloaded the carry on luggage and the large suitcase and attempted to sleep. I believe Jen slept for 2 hours. The thirteen hour time difference challenges all of us.
Monday, a holiday in China, included an early (before 8:15am) bus ride for 10 minutes or so to a drop off point near the silk market. We enjoyed McDonalds coffee and called Nela to see if she would trek out to the Summer Palace with us. We allowed her to sleep some more and proceeded to eat the first Beijing breakfast consisting of porridge and wonton soup. We then subway’d north to meet Edmond at Dongzhimen. The three of us journey again by subway to Llama temple. The relatively quick walkthrough of the temple preceded another coffee stop. Nela joined us at coffee and the four of us subway’d again north to the Summer Palace. We have photographic proof. After the Summer Palace tour we dined on very local food in a very local restaurant. It included beer, green beans, eggplant, noodles, and chicken.
Monday dinner (like always) included burgers at the Blue Frog with Nancy, Edmond, Gui, and Karen.
Tuesday morning we walked to Guomao and ate baozi on the way- STREET FOOD – check- We subway’d on line 1 to Tien’anmen Square and walked around. We also enjoyed a walk through the Railway museum. I dropped Jennifer off at the Forbidden city while I took my computer to Starbucks by Julie H.’s Starbucks and waited. Jen Called Julie after a marathon through the Forbidden City and they both came down and met me. I then walked Jen through Wangfujing before taking her via taxi to Liangma bridge Starbucks to meet Ariane and Joe from Seattle. She and I then met Julie H and Edmond for Duck at an Ariane recommended Duck restaurant a walk away from Liangma bridge. You and I then experienced KTV with Anthony for a short time before returning to my apartment for sleepy time.
Wednesday morning I showed Jen a Home Depot like hardware store then to Sharon’s home for some home cooked breakfast tomato egg soup that was out of this world good. Jen delivered goods to Sharon and we then ventured back north by subway to Liangma bridge to meet Alex for a dumpling lunch at a great local spot. After lunch we both enjoyed naps and then a local and low key dinner downstairs from my apartment. We then slept early as Jen’s jet lag officially kicked in.
Thursday notes are slim. I do recall that she may have got a little shopping in. That night she met many many people at my once a month Internations networking event at the Beach. It’s my favorite networking event in Beijing. You slept out.
Friday has very little in the way of notes. We ventured up to north Beijing and ate lunch with a hiking friend in her home. Jen rested after lunch for a short while before we headed back into town. We got our teeth cleaned that evening at 5:30pm by Swallow. I then went to Wudaokou to see Melody and a movie. Jen stayed home.
Saturday Jen attended a music festival with David, Julie H, Edmond, and others and then slept at Julie’s. I ate lunch in Shuangjing with Chloe, Corey, Alana, and others before resting then going to my hiking party in a suit.
Sunday I believe Jen shopped as I studied Mandarin from 10am til 1pm. We then subway’d to the Temple of Heaven in the late afternoon before enjoying Alana and Corey’s company over dinner in Shunagjing.
Monday, the 19th I went to Liangmaqiao Starbucks and Jen shopped. We met at the subway around Blue Frog time and we walked with Alex to Blue Frog for a lovely Monday burger night with Ian, Julie, H, Alex, you, me, and 3 others.
Tuesday, Jen did her own thing while I went way north to drop my laptop off at Shang Di and I then saw Sheila at Starbucks. Jen and I met at the apartment after she returned from the Silk Market. We subway’d to the Beijing Xi (West) railway station and met Edmond (barely) and took the train to Xi’an. We drank wine with Louise from Canada and had a merry time. The train landed at noon – 4 hours late- so we spent a quick 7.5 hours in Xi’an before coming back to Beijing. We missed our Ariane Thursday morning leather/ fur shop trip and instead biked to Jing Shan park. Jen and I took some wonderful photos from up above the Forbidden city. We then biked to Ariane’s home for a lovely wine event. Afterwards I biked home and you taxi’d to Edmond’s for the night.
Friday morning you and I met Ariane for the leather store and then did a bit of walking . Friday night we met Edgar, Julie, and others near Dongzhimen for Lamb night before Saturday morning Great wall hiking. Saturday’s hike included Corey, Lisa, Alana, and many others. It was a steep and unkept part of the wall that we hiked on. Dinner afterwards was wonderful too. We ate at a place that had live entertainment.
Jennifer left early the next morning.
My current visitor arrived from Arlington, Texas nearly two weeks ago and she leaves in two days. Her schedule still includes a photo opportunity at the Olympic buildings, a Great Wall hike, lamb dinner, more shopping, a very unique dinner with over fifteen local Chinese (me included) people at a restaurant in north Beijing, and a final dress fitting. She has ridden a bicycle, taken a public bus, ventured on the subway, walked, and slept on an overnight train. Before she taxis back to the airport on Sunday, the private car experience gets a check mark also. Two times she raced in those little box cart thingys that sometimes carry senior citizens.
Jennifer and I met nineteen years ago while working together at Macaroni Grill at the arboretum in north Austin. We, along with more than twenty other young people, formed lifelong bonds back in the early 1990′s that remain extremely strong today. In the last nine years I can count (before this visit) two times (less than a few hours each) that I have spent with Jennifer. During her entire Beijing trip planning process we spoke zero times. From the moment she stepped off the plane we have been getting along like brother and sister who have seen each other nearly daily for our entire adult lives. I find comfort and stability in my relationships. I use the phrase, “lay down in traffic.” I have many friends and acquaintances. I have only a few handfuls of “lay down in traffic” friends. It’s extremely obvious for me to figure out who those friends happen to be. In nine years I saw Jennifer twice (before Beijing) and we catch up like no time has passed. I feel so blessed by my friendships. If she really leaves in two days I’ll be sad about her leaving.
My job allows me to work and entertain my guests at the same time. I take my laptop with me and send Jennifer on adventures. We then meet back up at certain meal times. She subways alone. She now spends time with her own group of friends. She quickly learned negotiating skills. She fearlessly orders her own Chinese food by pointing at tasty looking food items in a display window or on a menu full of photos or even on a neighboring dinner table.
We attempt to figure out many worldly mysteries together. One item of information that makes me wonder is the number of non-Chinese folks living in Beijing. I found an article from May 2010 and I think the number leaves out tens of thousands of folks.
My hiking group celebrated five years together and I made a video of still photos from my sixteen months with the group as well as other photos from the past.
I feel more at home daily. I buy groceries. I cook for myself. I still explore the city. Heck, I explored Austin, Texas after having been there for well over ten years. The education continues forever. I happen to be in a city that holds a forbidden city, a very old brick wall, an underground city, a summer palace, a temple of heaven, shopping for a lifetime, a wonderful subway system, fantastic food at reasonable prices, and more.
My super friendliness continues towards new folks as I slowly become a bit pickier with whom I share my time. In the most recent three weeks I have officially dropped three people. I find it very necessary. Folks come and go in life and every so often I find time to drop some deadweight. Sixteen months into my Beijing life I still hand out business cards like I always have. I don’t actively solicit information from others unless I really really think I want to see them again and even then my follow-up is not as enthusiastic as it was eight months ago. I have a new chapter of work that begins soon so that will consume me more than work has consumed me for the past several months. I also need to plan several Asia trips because I am here. I know that I will have an exit from this city. I don’t know if I’ll leave next year or during the next US presidential administration. This city, like every other city I may stay in for a few years in the future will (and has) allow(ed) me to grow and improve myself. I have and I will continue to get a better grasp of Mandarin Chinese. My study habits make it difficult for me to learn quickly. I prefer to do anything else besides study. Step one is identifying the issue. I have done that now.
My next visitor arrives Saturday and I am quite excited about that!
This one may sting. I intend for it to entertain.
The local young ladies do not casually date. They pick their mate, take control, marry him and that’s it. Anything different is extremely rare. At this writing I have been bere for seventeen months and I have many stories. Almost all of them want an iphone. Nearly all of them have a story to tell about the mother and an operation and time off from work that they don’t get paid for. I enjoy the entertainment. If I stick around one particular young lady too long then the story changes. My piece of advice is to tell a story and stick to it. Some of us pay too close attention so when you change your story you lose credibility. Also, be a little more creative than the next forty five ladies. I still enjoy the entertaining identical stories.
This week I lost three friends. Julia moved to Hong Kong, Lisa moved to Abu Dhabi, and the third one moved on. It’s best not to call folks by name when I have less than pleasant things to write about them. Throughout my childhood and adult life I have enjoyed relationships with (probably) thousands of different folks from all over. Now, living in Beijing for more than a year I find it easier and easier to make and lose friends. I love the variety in my relationships. It can be a lonely existence. It can also be a super full and exciting adventure. I have as many opportunities each day as I choose. I constantly meet new folks. I notice the sometimes subtle difference in values and ways of doing things from folks from all different parts of the world.
I have (what I call) solid relationships with folks whose first language is not English. It amazes me that Americans are not encouraged to learn languages and then people from other parts of the world speak (fluently) several languages. I’m friendly, non-secretive, open, and happy. I find that my way of being makes some folks uncomfortable from my own culture. Cultivating meaningful relationships with people here in Beijing takes time and occasionally does not work out. I came up against one brick wall yesterday and ended a personal relationship. In the same evening I replaced that person with at least three others. Each day I feel as though I reach my friend limit. I crack me up with my issues. Just like back in Austin and central Texas I cycle people in and out. Beijing feels more like summer camp where I squeeze two or three days worth of activities into each day. My emotions here seem to be magnified because I am far away from my home. I am not at home here yet. I think that when my Mandarin improves and I begin understanding most of what is said around me I’ll do better. Now I am visiting.